How To Cut Up A Pineapple

First, slice off the leafy green crown and the cute, round butt, releasing an even stronger aroma of pineapple than has been permeating the kitchen since we arrived back from vacation.

Next, slice off the hull - stripping the hard brown and green nubs to reveal the sunny yellow flesh.

(At this point you must resist the urge to pick the thing up in juicy wet hands and eat it like an enormous corn-on-the-cob)

Finally, slice it into quarters, and cut out the tough core, until there is nothing left but pure, sweet joy: touch your tongue to it, and let memories that are already a part of your bones well up inside you, and bring you peace.