"What are you..., you think you're gonna poop?" The dog is frantically nosing the ice, checking each frozen leaf and patch of brown, dead earth, for the perfect spot to do her thing.
When the crisis has past and we walk a little further down the path, I point out to her a giant Great Pyrenees Mountain Dog, noting in passing that it's actually a polar bear.
The woman behind us laughs, and when I turn to see what's amused her, she's appraising us frankly, and says, "You've been talking to your dog this entire time."
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